I am officially all settled in at my house. My family is a huge blessing to me. However, I do not know the last time I felt so out of sorts. It is this odd combination of belonging, and yet not fitting into this life any longer. It isn't as though my family makes me feel unwelcome, quite the contrary. They, especially my sister, have made it clear in no uncertain terms they do not like my being away. However, part of what I have learned this year is who I am as an adult. It is not as though there are all of these harsh rules I have to follow, or as if there are things I want to do that I cannot, it is simply a matter of being a part of a family again. For those of you who have not experienced this yet, or maybe have, but it has been a while, it is quite the odd feeling. Once one has been away, been living life as an adult, and being accountable only to God for choices and actions, it is odd to come home then, and be asked where you are going, with whom, what your plans are, and when you plan to return home. It is not something I am unhappy with anyone about, it is not something I am displeased about in any way. Rather, it simply is an awkward moment of realization. This realization comes from the knowledge that life once again, is more complicated than it had been, *not in a bad way, mind you,* just in a readjustment way.
My entire family has changed while I was away at college, and rightly so. Their lives are growing and changing much in the same way as mine, so I could hardly expect that with as much as I have changed, they would not. My mom is becoming more confident in who she is, both as a person and a writer. She has realized that she has so much she wants to do that she has been putting on hold for everyone around her, but most especially her husband and children. Now we have all found interests of our own, or gone out and started our own journeys in life, and she has learned how to handle that. I know at the beginning this change was full of frustration for her, as she saw everyone around her transitioning. However, now she has learned that if she wants to do something, she does it, and she does not feel the need to wait for someone else's approval or timing.
My father has changed a lot as well. He has absolutely fallen head over heals in love with mountain biking *no pun intended*. This is what he is passionate about, and it is a wonderful thing for him. It is also a blessing in the way of stress relief for him, and without it, these last few months would have been painful for him. He has made new friends at the bicycle shop where my sister also happens to work. The men my sister works for boast marvelous senses of humor. They, without ever stepping foot in our house, have managed to transform the entire way of life. My dad can go over to the shop after one of the many hard days he has been having at work lately, and when he returns home, he is jovial. It is a blessing to me to see him so light hearted.
My sister has probably changed the most. She has been working at the afore mentioned bicycle shop for a little over a year now, and it has been one of the best things to happen to her in her life. When she began working there, she was timid, did not like to speak out or disagree with anyone for any reason *not including my brother and I*. The men she works for love to tease people, and have taught my sister to stand up for herself. Now, she can most definitely speak her mind, and most often does, whether she should or not. :) She is more confident in herself, and has no problem displaying her "tomboy side". I put that in quotes because she is still very much a feminine female, even if she does like to go to school and show off her "cool bruises" which she acquired while mountain biking.
My brother has changed also. I have a harder time seeing the changes in him, as he lives in Oklahoma, and I live in Colorado, however one thing stands out. My brother is joyful. He is happy! Most of my memories of my brother as we were growing up are of him being extremely somber and serious. This was his countenance, day in, and day out. That is not to say he is never serious now, but there is a lightheartedness that is refreshing for all of those around him to see. What caused this change? A couple of things... one would be a work of the Lord that has been a long time coming. The cause of this change would be his girlfriend, whom I have yet to meet, but I definitely am looking forward to meeting her. As my brother so often informs everyone he speaks to "she's amazing!!!". *Sorry Chris, I didn't have room for as many exclamation points and smiley faces as would do you justice.
Anyway, all of this to say that I am blessed with such a family, as we are all moving onward toward the goal of the upward calling of God in Christ Jesus. We may be moving forward in different ways, but at least we know we are running toward the same thing. God Bless!!
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4 comments:
Two things:
First, paragraphs!!!
Second, you need to look at text color (especially for links); right now they're invisible.
Other than that, I can understand the sentiments in this paragraph. On a related note, you might appreciate this article. Just keep seeking to serve, and learn from the ways I blew it that first summer home.
Love you!
Oh, and she is amazing! The changes in all of us are fun to watch. We're all growing up - including our parents.
And huzzah for Ye Olde Bike Shoppe!
I did put it in paragraphs when I wrote it. I wrote it in the blogspot writer thingy and they still won't show up. I tried, sorry.
There were links in there?
Your post was very insightful and very well written.
Seems funny doesn't it, that your parents, in their mid-forties are still "growing up"? I think it's a good thing.
Lastly, let's take a look and see if we can identify why you seem to be losing your returns. Our blogs keep them.
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